Monday, May 15, 2006

Alrighty, judging will be fun, but I think I need to give you all a run down on how I work. I'm mean, quite literally a jack ass, that's my persona. No matter how great your post is, I am expected to tear it apart. But I completely expect you all to come right back at me, to give as good as you get.

So that the writer behind Simon can actually give some positive feed back or insight, I will introduce the character of Sofia, Simon's personal assistant.

Do understand that I have read many of your blogs, wish you no ill will and in NO WAY want you to take any of my criticisms to heart. I'm saying it to be mean, nasty, snarky, and to get a reaction. Remember, not all fights are physical. Mine is a verbal engagement, which can be just as painful. If you really want me to lay off, email me, and we'll chat. But the rest of you whiney little twits, grow a pair and tell me what you really think of me.



Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Dear sir,

Bring it.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

10:26 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Okay, are you ready to rumble? you ready to rock n roll? cuz I am about to lay down the smack down on you Simon. Here comes the worst verbal bashing you'll ever receive.

YOUR A POOPY HEAD!!, that right I said poppy head.

Ha! hows that? don't feel so good does it?

11:07 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Uhhh. I meant poopy head the second time, not poppy head...which really doesn't make sense. so ingore the whole poppy head thing. Ok?

11:10 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

oh and ingore the bad grammer of YOUR A, I meant Your're a... OK, back to being a hard bottom to you Mr. Simon. Grrrrr

11:12 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I figured with the "poppy head" thing you were suggesting Simon had a substance abuse problem. But I think that's Paula , not Simon. I suspect that Sofia may just be a code name for Paula, though. The clues are just too obvious for it not to be true.

1) Sofia and Paula have the same number of letters, same number of vowels and same number of consenants.

2) Sofia is a derivative of the Greek for wisdom, an obvious sarcastic jab at Paula who, let's face it, isn't that quick.

3) Sofia is fake, made-up, constructed person and so is Paula.

2:44 AM  
Blogger Jabafatboy said...

If ya cant grow a pair , I got some I can sell for 300 credits a set !!

Actually Simon is not only the Owner of grow a , he is a client !!

7:08 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

It is on! Is it on? It's on!

7:13 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

OK, let me translate so Gyrobo understands a little better.

Gyrobo, Simon is saying that it is 1.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

No, Sofia is a real being, fairly smart (so I'm told), and has the job of personal assistant because her uncle plays golf with the studio head. She's a prime example of it's not what you know, it's who you know. Sadly, that has always gotten me less than hot personal assistants.

And Jaba, you are so out of your league, go back to the trailer park and your tired 'yo mama' jokes

12:38 PM  
Blogger Jabafatboy said...

No Simon : They Are YOU'RE MAMA
Jokes .

2:35 PM  
Blogger flu said...

pair of what?

4:03 PM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

if not gyro turn around and I will turn it on

Charles the switch not ... oh never mind

4:24 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Too late!

7:01 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

From Jaba I'd thought they would be "Ya'll momma' Jokes.

And no one make 'Yo momma' jokes about Simon, cuz how could you top giving birth to him as the cruelest joke.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Gaia said...

"No Simon : They Are YOU'RE MAMA
Jokes ."

You are mama jokes?

You people are ruining the English language!!!

4:01 AM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Okay, two rules Simon. The first is please don't call me "tri'lek" the second is, whenever Aayla Secura posts, I want you to make her cry. I want you to tear her heart out and stomp on it.

I'm glad you agreed to the rules.

6:23 AM  
Blogger Magneto said...

I don't know that a giant slug really counts as a person, Gaia. No offense Jaba.

6:33 AM  
Blogger Legolas said...

Wow, Simon, everyone hates you and wants to insult you. And so do I. You smell like a thousand dead Orcs! Ha!

4:29 PM  
Blogger Legolas said...

Oh, and so does you're mama.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Legolas said...

Oh yeah, I went there.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Legolas, how nice of you to show up. I've heard that one before, we'll have to work on creating original insults for you.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Simon, as you may or may not know, it's the Summer of Compliments and I just wanted you to know that I enjoy reading your whip-smart, sharp critiques of the contestants. You often make my day.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Superman said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:41 AM  

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