Well well, you all seem to be rather curious about me, and who wouldn't be? Not only am I a rather dashing figure, I will hold your fate in my hands. Will you be successful, bathed in the warmth of praise and love? Or will you be a failure, so bad that even the Peace Corps thinks you too pathetic for service?

But before you worry that I'm just going to be mean for the fun of it, take heart. I like quality, love it, in fact. A good fight makes my heart glad. I like a unique approach to things, and a bit of ingenuity never hurt either. But if you suck I will tell you to sod off and stop wasting my time. And never fear, those of you that make my eyes bleed, there will most likely be a judge that praises everyone, no matter how bad they did, and you will wonder greatly about their credibility.

So boys and girls, I wait with baited breath for the games to begin.